


Let Me Go

by DragonHeartedGirl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Deathfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 14:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonHeartedGirl/pseuds/DragonHeartedGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin dies instead of Arthur in the battle of Camlann. Mordred holds the man he so loved in his arms as he gives his last breath, knowing there's nothing else he can do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> -> Angst, angst, lots of angst. And yes, Merlin dies.  
> -> Good!Mordred where he fights at the side of Camelot (evil doesn't fit him well, I mean -)  
> -> English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for the poor writing and for any amateur mistakes  
> Enjoy it!

The battle was close to its apex, and Mordred was too distant and too involved in his own combat against the enemy soldiers to reach out for Merlin. He’d tried to negotiate. To make his people listen to him and not Morgana, and to make Morgana fall on her senses; but Morgana was far too blinded by her hatred, and her followers were too blinded by her arguments and persuation - and some, with the same hatred that doomed the priestess. So he had no choice but to fight and defend Camelot. He trusted Arthur, he knew someday things would change for his people, he believed that. And that was what he was fighting for.

And he was also fighting for a certain warlock that, even if showing clear suspicion and a slight despite for Mordred sometimes, he admired and liked. No, he didn’t just liked Merlin. He loved Merlin in a way he could never imagine loving a man, but he did. And that was why Merlin’s suspicious looks hurt him deeper than any blade. And that was also why a part of him envied Arthur more than any other person.

In a considerable distance, Arthur and Merlin fought side by side with lots of soldiers. Merlin’s magic was in use, more powerful than anyone and anything in there. He had beaten Morgana up later, but she was not dead, and was now getting back to her senses. She got up on her feet, approaching her brother, muttering a spell. Merlin defended Arthur, and Morgana’s sword hit the warlock’s. Arthur was too occuped fighting against three strong soldiers to be able to do anything. 

Magic against magic. Blade against blade - both forged in dragon’s breath. Morgana’s blade made a cut on Merlin’s belly - not deep enough to kill him already, but she knew he wouldn’t last long. Some painfull moments and he’d be gone, and nothing would stand on her way.

Among the sudden pain, anger raised on Merlin. “You’re not getting what you want, Morgana”, he hissed. After some quick magic words that stopped Morgana from moving, his blade downed the High Priestess in her abdomen. She laughed.

“Do you think a mortal blade can stop me, a High Priestess?”

“No”, was Merlin’s answer. “But this is no mortal blade. It was forged in dragon’s breath, just as yours”

Morgana’s eyes filled with fear as Merlin took his sword out of her, and that gaze stood as she fell on the battlefield, lifeless.

Merlin sighed, the pain now getting back with strenght. He fell on his knees, holding the point where the wound was.

As the soldiers retreated or were completely destroyed, Merlin felt relief. He did it. Morgana was gone. Arthur was now safe. Camelot was too. He knew what his fate would be now, but he accepted it. He had fulfilled his destiny, after all.

Mordred was frustrated by the time he had to spent taking care of his wounds. He should be resting to then return to Camelot, but how was he supposed to do it kowing that Merlin was deadly wounded? He knew Morgana’s blade was forged in dragon’s breath, and he pretty much knew what that meant. Merlin wouldn’t last.

“Where’s Merlin?”, he asked to everyone and noone. Whoever answered would have his eternal thankfulness. 

“Right here”, a voice answered. Gaius. He followed the voice.

Merlin was laying down by a tree, Gaius taking care of him. Arthur had stayed there with him for a long time, but he had to rest and solve other problems.

“How is he?”, Mordred asked Gaius.

“Resisting”, the old physician answered.

“Can I…”, Mordred looked at the top of the tree and then back to Merlin “Can I stay with him for sometime?”

“Of course, just… be careful and call me if you need so”, Gaius answered, standing up and leaving them alone. Mordred sighed, kneeing down by Merlin’s side. His heart was racing with expectation, anxiety and worry.

“How are you doing?”, his eyes met Merlin’s, blue on blue.

“I’ll be fine”, Merlin answered, a tight voice. Both him and Mordred knew it wasn’t completely true. “I’m sorry I ever doubt you”

That comment made Mordred feel a little better, but something told him he’d never be completely fine again if he lost Merlin - what was going to happen.

“It’s fine… I do not blame you, but I’m glad you have now seen the truth”, a tiny, sad smile appeared on Mordred’s face “I wish we could’ve been longer friends”, and something else too, a part of his mind completed.

“Yeah”, Merlin agreed “Me too”, he smiled too, but there was still pain on his face. “But now… please… stay with me. It’s still something, after all”

A tear ran down Mordred’s cheek. He knew what Merlin meant.

“No…”, he whispered. “Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe there’s a way. There has to be a way”

“If there is a away, it’s uknown to me”, Merlin whispered weakly. “But don’t worry, I’m in peace now”

Another tears followed the first one, running down the druid boy’s cheeks like a waterfall. Mordred wanted to scream, cry, get back in time and stop Morgana from wounding Merlin. If she wasn’t dead already, he’d make her suffer like never before.

“Arthur could’ve stopped her… he should’ve taken care of you… you didn’t need to… to…”, he wanted to say lots of things, but none of them came out, locked in his throat.

“No, Mordred… it was my destiny to protect Arthur, and I was willing to give my life for him if that was the price”, Merlin touched the druid boy’s hand softly, sending a shiver down his spine. “As I said, I’m in peace now. Arthur will build a fairer kingdom, be there to see and enjoy it”

“You should be there to enjoy it too!”, Mordred cried. How could the destiny be so unfair at the point to not let the one who most fought to help the future of a kingdom see this future?

“I do will be there, even if not the way you expect me to”, Merlin answered, tenderly caressing Mordred’s hand with his thumb “You’ll be fine, Mordred. I’ve done what I had too”, Merlin was getting weaker, he wouldn’t resist anymore “Now you have to let me go”

Merlin’s thumb laid still on Mordred’s hand, his eyes closing softly. He looked incredibly calm, serene and beautiful at the bright moonlight that lighted up the sky. Mordred’s body started to shook, tears running down more violently. “I love you, Merlin”, he whispered, letting go of his hand. Approaching himself to the nearly lifeless body, his lips met the young warlock’s. The full, tempting lips were cold. With what seemed a slight, peaceful smile on his face, Merlin gave his last breath. His destiny had been fulfilled. He was now gone.

It’ll be an empty world without you, Merlin, Mordred thought.

Years passed by, and still Mordred always missed Merlin. He kept loyal to Arthur, didn’t matter what, because he knew it’d have been Merlin’s wish. He joked, he laughed, he was fine sometimes. But a part of him was empty without Merlin.

Morgana, he never forgave. And Merlin, he never forgot. And the young warlock, even being beyond his reach now, he forever loved.


End file.
